Secret life of lies

Secrets are so toxic! We all have secrets some big and others not so, but still the same; a secret. All based with shame, in fear of humiliation, but all the same fear. With fear there is no light only the darkness that fear brings. We accept these little lies as small but they have a way of growing till they become all encompassing. Each little lie eats its weigh in light and eats and eats till there is no more light left. Then the darkness falls and the lie starts to reproduce more and more guilt and shame till only the demons are left where once angels played. The light shines no more and gloom and despair move in filling all the cracks with pain.

The lie is repressed but forgotten, not, it just works from a different sector of consciousness. You begin to change in subtle ways at first, thinking them your own decision, but it’s not really. The lie takes on power ruling your world, your feelings, your body, your thoughts and last but not least your spirit. It fills and expands not allowing outside contact, filtering, blocking, all to alienate that which is salvation; your heart and spirit!

Doubt and confusion take over to sever the faith and knowing that all will be all right, without the fear, but that is all you know by now. Once was the playground for angels becomes the muck of monkeys on your back. Standing on quicksand, down the hole you go with out faith and knowing. Powerless as it seems, it is not what it seems.

Funny thing is despair and gloom drive one to suicide or desperation, but what is important is that they activate energy, for driving one to an end of some sort. Sad but true is we have relied upon desperation and trauma/ drama for so long as the driving force for change, we know not how to do so in love. Is it so hard to accept life to be trouble free, or is that too boring, having everything you dream come true? I ponder upon this, wondering why does it have to be that way, what is it in me that makes it so? The one thing I do know is that it is so.

Countless hours and many more pleas for help, but all for naught by the one need to have trauma / drama be the instrument of change. Trauma/ drama follows rules of it’s own, but love has no rules, it just is. There in “lies” the crux of the issue / discord creating your life dance. A simple truth it is.