Thursday, April 1, 2010

Buffy and Me

I was eleven that summer my parents allowed me to spend it on the big game ranch that my uncle was the foreman. It might have been intended as a punishment of sorts but it was heaven for me. A large herd of Appaloosa ponies to watch and get to ride on occasion, fields of hay to run through with my dog Oscar, cherry trees laden with fruit and lots of home baked pies. I would rush trough my chores of feeding the assortment of poultry, gather the eggs, water and weed the garden.


Then I could visit the doe herd and play with their fawns, the deer loved to nuzzle me for treats and whisper their secret messages for me to deliver to the stags a good two hour walk across the rolling hill meadows. If I dawdled too long at the stag pen the walk home would became very hot in the afternoon sun. It was easy for me to lose track of time relaying the messages from their beloved does and telling them of the new fauns and they would give me a message to take back. The young bucks would always have the most to say, thrilling me with their antics of prawlness. Some times to get back on time I would take the forbidden short cut, only if no one was around to see me cutting through the range where the herd of buffalo roamed. Always cautious to avoid them because they were wild and told they didn’t like humans. They were really big and I respected that.

One day there were many riders gathered around the buffalo, knowing one was pregnant and due anytime now. I stood on the fence railing and waved desperately wanting to have my uncle pick me up and take me over to witness the birth. It seemed like an eternity before he came over and the look on his face told me something was wrong. I notice that the buffalo had moved away leaving the new born. I was devastated thinking it was dead and my Uncle then told me that the mother rejected the calf and it most certainly would be dead in a matter of hours. I asked if something could be done and he said it was just a fact of life and there was no one to take on the added burden of a new born. “Let me take care of him and feed him, oh please, please, please let me do it” was all I could say. He looked me in the eye and said “it will be a big responsibility are you up for it?” “Yes, yes I can do it I am strong and will nurse and feed it!” “PLEEEze.” Giving him my most heart wrenching look. It worked because he called out to the hand and said “let’s take him back to the house.”


He pulled me up in the saddle and started telling me what I would have to do. The calf was in bad shape already, dehydrated and famished not able to hold its head up. I knew that he just needed some TLC. As soon as we arrived home I began by making a place in the barn for him, and learned to mix the formula so that I could proceeded to feed him. When he refused to eat my heart sank but I wouldn’t give up and sat with him signing and stroking his soft hair, and kept putting the nipple into his mouth for him to take a few sips off the bottle. It was the wee hours of the night when he finished his first bottle, that’s when I was called into the house and to bed. I didn’t get much sleep worrying that the coyotes would get him or he would die in the night but to my delight he was still alive in the morning.

For the first couple of days I was inseparable from him, afraid to leave his side till he got out of the woods. He seemed to grow stronger and stronger by the hour and a few days I was able to resume my courier assignment for the deer. Once back on the job I told them all about Buffy and they seemed interested in his progress. That was my first encounter with a buffalo. What a blessing to be given the chance to nurse a calf back to life. It was maybe two weeks and he was a big as me. Me and Oscar would spend hours with Buffy in the barn or pasture playing tag or singing to him. I think he like that a lot and my uncle said that was probably what saved him.

That summer ended in a bitter sweet note because the day before I was to go home Oscar got killed by a hay baler. He was probably chasing a rabbit and got caught in the blades. It broke my heart to lose my childhood companion of ten years, but I don’t think Oscar wanted to go back to the city and he was getting up in years. I think he lived his life to the fullest doing what he loved.







Spirit Guide


I never saw Buffy again but my connection with the buffalo wasn’t severed. One of my first Spirit guides that appeared to me in healing sessions was White Buffalo Calf Woman. She was a wonderful teacher through the years, helping me find my connection with spirit and learn my healing arts.

On occasion a buffalo would appear in my dreams and it always felt like it was Buffy coming to visit. I remember back in the late 80’s when the first white buffalo was born and how I wanted to make the trek to see it but is wasn’t till years later that I did.






Dream Vision



I remember that dream I had in June 2004 during the Venus Transit, like it happened yesterday. I was camping at a folk festival. It was so real and the message was so clear.

In my dream I was walking down the narrow streets of what seemed like an old world village. The buildings where two and some three story adobe clay, they did not seem to have many windows in them and the doors seemed to be made of really old wood that was thick and heavily latched. Thinking it was siesta time because I could feel the late afternoon heat, and the shops along the streets were closed and deserted. I didn’t feel lost but didn’t know where I was going either.

I had a companion with me who I knew but couldn’t tell you who she was. She was full of anxiety, glancing from side to side as if looking for someone to jump out of the shadows. I felt safe and told her not to worry that we would get back in time. (For what I am not sure.) Every so often we would pass by someone and they would smile or wave but did not stop and talk. I think she was relieved that they didn’t.

Through the years of traveling I had a rule and that was not to get on boats or cross borders with certain people because they just couldn’t handle getting out of their comfort zone, and ultimately rain on my parade when they did. I was getting the feeling she was one of those people. We began walking faster and when we turned a corner I spied an old friend.

He opened his arms to greet me with a hug and kiss. It felt good to be in his arms again. “Let me look at you sister” he said and continued with “you are a vision for sore eyes”

I said to him “ it always amazes me who you meet in the middle of nowhere”
He laughed and hugged me again. “Hey would you like to see what all the commotion is about?”

Not knowing what commotion he was talking about because the town looked downright deserted, I nodded my head in consent. He wasn’t waiting on an answer knowing me and my spirit for adventure, he had already turned to open the big massive door in front of us.

I turned to introduce my companion, and noticed she was white as a sheet which shocked me. Dumbfounded by this reaction I whispered to her “what’s up?”
She said “But he’s a street person, how do you know this guy?”
“What? He’s an old friend!” I answered.
“Well I am not going in there with you, and you shouldn’t either!” She said emphatically.
“Well I am going!” not liking to be dictated to I answered a little sharply.

She touted back “you will just have to go alone because I am not going to set foot in that place!.” She declared and walked off in a huff. I turned back to my friend and shrugged my shoulders in disbelief, as she walked off. Being dumbfounded by her rude behavior, I just followed him in silence. We walked single file down a steep and narrow corridor that was barely lit for some ways. It was strange because I remember feeling kind of out of breath as if I was walking high in the Andes, but we were going underground. He kept mumbling “you are going to be surprised, what a blessing this is.” I felt excited about what we were going to discover when the corridor opened up to a wide arena full of people standing shoulder to shoulder forming a circle around the edge. I knew that this was some ceremony of sorts.

When my eyes adjusted to the light I gasped with delight to see a white buffalo in the middle. He came over to me and I could feel his hot breathe, smell his pungent odor and gazed transfixed into his beautiful brown eye. I think he winked to me in recognition. As I reached out to touch his soft fur I was once again eleven years old with Buffy. I don’t know how long I was down in what seemed to be a Kiva, but time was up and the group began to file out in respectful silence. I cherished the honor that I was given to be part of this ceremony and quieted my questions till we got back into the alley.
“Wow, thank you for that blessing!” is all I could say.
He answered with a peculiar statement, “it won’t be long now, just eight more years to wait.”

“for what?” I chimed in. That’s when he said the most peculiar thing of all…

“Life As We Know It Will No Longer Be The World As We Know It Today”

The energy behind what he said felt good, not like it was a dire prediction but a fact of some grand event of change for the better to come about. Inside me I knew that this is what I was here for too. I could feel a great sense of purpose and relief that the ordeal was soon to be over. I was lost in knowing but at the same moment not knowing.

Saying again to me “Not Much Longer!” In a way that emphasized for me to have patience, and not lose hope. Smiling with love he game me another hug ---- And turned walking away.

I stood for a moment to grasp the beauty and wonder of the blessing I had been given, wanting to remember all that occurred and the feeling of relief of knowing not much longer, before we would know life differently, I sighed with relief, renewed with knowing faith and patience.
I woke to the song of the whip-o-will overhead.








Life As I know It!

The funny thing is that life as I knew it or should I say what was taught to me is not the life I am now learning to co-create. The one thing that taking the photos has shown me is that life is totally different than what I thought it was! It is so much more, and I want to shout it from the roof tops for all to hear, but knowing most can not hear! Yet that is!

 

De Light Full Deborah

http//www.blueturtlemoonstudios.com